New Year's Day !

Well, it's arrived. A blank sheet of paper to start anew. My only fear is that this year will be worse than last year. All the signs are there. Financial chaos, bad relationship with my family, still smoking. It just seems that as the years go by I have no plan. I just seem to go from one disaster to another.

I'm sick at the moment as well. Coughing, sneezing, headache, toothache. Life sucks at the moment and do you know I'm one of the lucky ones. I don't think God looks at me and says "poor Paul". I'm just a lazy slob. I'm also a coward. I'm afraid of everything.

I hope I recover from this setback. I feel depressed but don't think I suffer from it.

My one main concern is that I have destroyed my wife's life and I'm in the process of destroying my kids as well and I don't know how to deal with it.